Things I'll Never Say - A Choji Akimichi One Shot

“Waitress! Waitress!”

You turned, midway through scribbling an order, sighing on the inside.

“Yes?” you said.

Not again.

“More barbecue please!”

Nodding, you added to your current order and scurried off to the kitchens, cursing your mother as you went. Get a job, she said - earn a little money for when the missions don’t pay up.

She was right in a way; missions had been a little dry lately - but never in a million years would you have chosen a job that made you constantly smell of secret sauce.

“More barbecue!” you shouted through the charcoal smell of the kitchen and squinting through the smoke. On your first day at the restaurant, the smell of sizzling meat had burned your nostrils but as time went by, you barely noticed it.

Within a couple of seconds, two platters appeared in front of you and you balanced them on your hips. Scuttling back into the restaurant, you placed one platter on the barbecue in front of the customer you were first serving, before taking the second to the second group.

They sat around the table as a group of three, which you recognised from Iruka’s class. You had barely placed the platter of barbecue when one of the three genin immediately took a piece of meat and began to chew. From his appearance and stature, you placed him as one of the Akimichi clan.

“Enjoy your meal,” you said in the polite tone you were supposed to use with all customers, turning to serve another who just arrived.

You had just turned away when a shriek was uttered from the table.

“CHOUJI!!!!!!”

You spun back, to see an almost horrifying sight. The boy who first picked at the meat was now blue and clutching his throat. Without thinking, you dropped your notepad and grabbed him into your arms, thumping at his chest. You had been doing a lot of weight training that week and the force emitted by your body was enough to send the lodged piece of meat flying onto an empty table in front. Panting, you fell into the only spare chair at the table, leaving Chouji to collapse into his.

“Are you okay, Chouji?” asked his female team-mate, glancing at him with worried eyes. He wasn’t looking at her, though, he was looking at you.

“I’m fine,” was the reply.

~*~

Following his near death experience, you thought that Chouji would avoid the barbecue restaurant, so it took you by surprise when he began to appear in the shop every week. News that you had performed the Heimlich manoeuvre on a Akimichi spread like wildfire through Konoha and you soon found yourself the recipient of a rank C mission -and all because of a piece of lodged meat.

Returning home from such a mission, you hadn’t got much time to dawdle - your shift started in a couple of minutes and you had to get changed. Rushing through the streets, you cursed your bruised limbs; the assignment had been more than a little tough on you.

Throwing yourself through the front door of the restaurant, you were immediately greeted by the fruity aroma of marinade and your workmate, Minami, who was just leaving. Although she was a little older than you, you worked together well.

“You‘re a little late,” she greeted. “I was beginning to think I’d have to call myself a liar.”

“I’m sorry,” you began to apologise and then realised what she said. “What?”

Grinning at you, your workmate pointed to a table secluded in the corner, where you spotted Chouji. When he saw you looking at him, he blushed and concentrated on the plate of barbecue in front of him.

“That boy you saved,” she said. “He comes in here every week.”

You nodded at this, as it was hardly news.

“Sure,” you said, “he really, really likes the…”

“It’s not the food he comes here for,” she hissed. “Every time he’s here, he asks if he can speak with you.”

Your cheeks flushed scarlet at this and you didn’t reply so she continued.

“You’re never here, ________, always missions all of a sudden! Me and the other girls were going to try the henge no jutsu just to relieve the tension.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you said, chuckling at the thought and then, sighing inwardly. “What shall I say to him?”

This time, it was your colleague’s turn to fall silent. She simply smiled and walked away, leaving you to walk over to Chouji’s table. He glanced up as you approached and tried to negate it by quickly looking down again.

Scanning your mind for something to say, you finally settled on the best you could think of.

“Is everything all right, sir?"

He glanced up at you, blushing at your broad, albeit artificial, smile.

“Uh…yes, fine…”

“Glad to hear it,” you replied and turned to leave, wondering if your workmate was lying to you and, more importantly, why it would bother you so much if she was.

“_________, wait,”

You turned to see Chouji looking at you pleadingly from the table.

“Might I speak with you?” he asked, motioning to one of the spare seats at the table. You took it, filled with curiosity and a small portion of fear. The same fear fixed across his face right then.

“_________-chan,” he finally said, breaking a long silence at the table. “I am overcome with a dilemma…I cannot sleep, can barely eat and it’s all because of you. Ever since you saved my life, ________-chan, you‘re all I think about. I was wondering if perhaps…”

You were all ears by this point, silently urging him on.

“…you might want to get a meal with me some time…?”

~*~

You and Chouji had been dating for about a month when your birthday arrived. You hadn’t organised any formal event to celebrate the occasion - birthdays didn’t mean that much to you anyway. Your parents both worked busy schedules and never had the time to make a huge deal.

The day before your birthday, Chouji made plans for you to meet him at the Akimichi residence. This wasn’t out of the ordinary; you spent most of your time there helping him train. On the morning of your birthday, you packed your training bag like usual and headed off for the Akimichi place.

Upon your arrival, Chouji’s mother answered the door and smiled when she saw you on the other side.

“Good morning, _______ -chan, and happy birthday,” she said, pulling you into a rib cracking hug. Ever since you and Chouji had gotten together she had been like a surrogate mother to you.

“Thanks,” you replied, “where is Chouji?”

She grinned at the mention of her son and pointed to the kitchen, where the smell of cooking hit your nostrils. This was no surprise - you had learned quickly that Chouji and his father ate multiple breakfasts. Thanking Mrs Akimichi once again, you walked towards the kitchen door and pushed it open.

“Chou, I’m-” you started, breaking off mid sentence.

You had expected to find him sitting at the kitchen table, polishing off his breakfast. Instead you found him standing in front of the oven, looking decidedly suspicious.

“What are you doing?” you ask, causing him to blush scarlet.

“Um…nothing….” was the reply. “Happy birthday, _____________!”

On a normal visit to the Akimichi household, this would be the point where he bear hugged you. Having made no such motion, you knew something was amiss.

“What are you hiding?” you asked, moving towards the oven and immediately being blocked.

“Nothing, why don’t you sit down?” he suggested.

You obeyed and sat at the table, feeling a little silly. Chouji pulled something out of the oven and you turned to see what it was - due to his late night feeding habits, he was quite a decent cook.

“What are you making the-” you began to ask, but stopped mid sentence as your jaw dropped. Chouji was in the middle of pulling an enormous birthday cake out of the oven, blushing luridly all the while.

“If you give me a few seconds, I can put a few candles on it,” he chuckled, placing the cake on the worktop and closing the oven door. He never got the chance to go and find the candles, though, as for the first time in your month long relationship, you leapt to your feet and tackled him to the floor in a bear hug all of your own.

~*~

Chouji’s team disappeared on a mission a short while after your birthday; you on the other hand took up extra shifts at the barbecue shop. Without Chouji’s presence, the shop seemed empty. Weeks flew by - on the third, as you tucked into a bento, you became aware that your workmate was grinning at you from across the table.

“Is there something on my face?” you asked, absently rubbing your cheek.

She burst out laughing at this remark, so much so that tears came to her eyes. Laying her own bento down, she wiped them, folded her arms and stared at you with such a degree of sincerity that it quite frightened you.

“______,” she said, “do you remember when you saved that boy from choking?”

It was hardly something that you could forget; half the village had heard about it by sundown.

“More to the point,” carried on your workmate, “do you remember the look on his face every day afterwards?”

The only image that came to mind was the terrified one as he worked up the courage to ask you out.

“I…don’t know…?” you admitted. “I was on missions for such a long time.”

Your workmate sighed, as though you had missed something vitally important.

“It was the same look I’ve been seeing on you for weeks,” she explained. “Even when you write your orders, you’re staring out of the windows.”

You felt your face prickle with heat. It was true that you’d sneaked glances out of the window to chance a sight of Chouji and his team returning, but you thought you’d been discreet about it. Apparently not.

“I can’t help it,” you admitted. “I just want to know that he’s okay.”

Your workmate smiled knowingly and picked up her bento again, as lunch break was almost over. Soon you would have to open up shop again and no longer have chance to talk properly.

“Do you think it’s the L word?” she asked, in a quieter tone to her previous remarks.

~*~

The first thing you did after returning home from work was run a hot bath. Sinking into the bubbles, you reconsidered your workmate’s words. You had laughed it off in the restaurant, but now that you were alone you could seriously wonder.

The L word…

Up until she had mentioned it, you had never really considered your feelings for Chouji - really debated them. You didn’t know whether to classify it as ‘love’. It seemed so final. He was the first person to pay any attention to you and, likewise, you were the first girl to enter his life in a non platonic fashion.

At the same time, you couldn’t stop thinking how much you did care for him - how when you were without him, you only felt half happy; being without him for weeks at a time was making you miserable. You also couldn’t stop wondering how on earth you could mention this to him without sounding like an idiot. Chouji had the guts to mention his feelings to you without even knowing if you would reciprocate. You felt like you owed it to him to tell him, but whenever you attempted to say the words aloud, you couldn’t help but cringe at yourself.

Having climbed out of the bath and wrapped a towel around your hair, you sat on your bed arms folded.

Closing your eyes, you concentrated on the words:

“I’ve missed you.”

“It hasn’t been the same without you.”

They came out as little more than a choke.

~*~

The day Chouji reappeared in Konoha, you were on a mission of your own; the owner of the Barbecue store had taken sick, so everyone else had to take on his usual tasks as well as waiting on tables. You and the other waitresses had devised a rota and that particular day it was your job to pick up the meats. Checking over them was a lengthy process [you did it about four times] and by the time you returned to the restaurant it was almost an hour into your waitressing shift.

You rushed into the backroom to pull off your coat and unload the meat, but you were interrupted by another one of your workmates. She was new at the restaurant and barely used to the system.

“_______,” she called, running over to you as you placed your coat on a hanger.

“Yes?”

“Minami told me to tell you…” she said as she arrived at the hangers. “While you were out…team 10 came back.”

“…..”

“She also told me that I should cover your shift.”

~*~

It seemed to take you too long to reach the Konoha Hospital, even though you knew it was probably only a matter of minutes. As soon as you had registered the news, you had pulled on your coat and thrown yourself back out of the restaurant, catching the word ’hospital’ on your way out.

You flew through the doors and headed for the front desk, where the lady at the desk smiled at you.

“Good afternoon, how may I help you?”

“Chouji Akimichi?” you said, catching your breath back. “I‘m here to see him.”

She nodded and picked up several files from the desk. One of them must have been Chouji’s, for she then wrote it in a book in front of her.

“This way.” she said, indicating a corridor to the right. “Chouji came in just a few hours ago, his injuries were only slight.”

A wave of relief washed over you; at the mention of ‘hospital’ you had believed it to be so much worse.

“What about the rest of the team?”

“Also only slight injuries,” was the reply. “Looks like everyone will be home this evening.”

At those words, she stopped at a door labelled E47 and placed her fingers around the handle. You realised it was the room Chouji was in and, as quickly as it had arrived, the wave of relief was gone. The woman from behind the desk knocked on the door three times and then stepped inside, motioning for you to follow.

“Chouji,” she said, “you have a visitor.”

You braced yourself for the worst as soon as the door was open. Even though you had been told that the injuries were only minor, somehow you still had visions of him being on a drip, with a hundred machines beeping in the background. You couldn’t bring yourself to look. Until you heard the crunch of a potato chip.

“Who?”

Even thinking about it afterwards, you couldn’t bring yourself to understand why such an obscure sound would bring you back to reality. But the fact was, having heard it, you stepped inside the room and took the situation in for everything it was. You saw Chouji sitting on the bed, both of his arms strapped up in slings, the bag of chips on his knees. You were so grateful with the powers that be that you lunged at him, flinging your arms around his neck.

“Ahh… _________,” you heard him say, as the lady from the desk quietly let herself out. Your eyes blurred with tears and you couldn’t think of anything to say. You knew what you wanted to say.

“I’ve missed you.”

“It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“I love you.”

None of them came out. Instead you found yourself gripping onto him, weeping in relief.

“Did someone make you cry, ______?” asked Chouji, as your tears began to dampen his skin.

“I’m just so happy you’re all right,” you replied. “You were away for such a long time.”

Sitting back, you wiped away your tears and picked up the bag of chips. Taking one out of the bag, you reached it out for him to take, working yourself up again to say ‘I missed you’. He didn’t take it, instead he looked from it to you and then smiled a little.

“I missed you,” he said.

You knew that the moment was gone.

~*~

Chouji’s arms were almost fully recovered just in time for his birthday. He could hold chop sticks without dropping them and didn’t rely on you to feed him most things - not that you minded.

You had saved up your earnings from your assignments and had finally reached enough, in your opinion, to give him a decent party. The first item on your agenda was to talk to your boss, who was still ill. The agreement in the barbecue store was that it was a blockage of his chakra system; while it wasn’t contagious, it was potentially serious for the one involved. You couldn’t talk to him directly, as he couldn’t pick up a pen or even form words, so your best bet was to discuss everything to the acting boss. Your best friend in the restaurant, Minami, had been elected as she was the oldest and had the least commitments elsewhere. She did not work in the restaurant alongside shinobi assignments, unlike the other staff.

When you mentioned the details of your idea to her, Minami said that she had all ready been thinking of something similar and whispered a plan to you. The same plan that you whispered to Chouji’s parents, friends and sensei. You also picked up a cookery book from the library and scanned through for details of how to make a cake. You had never made one before, but you wanted to return Chouji’s gesture.

Keeping the whole thing a secret from him was not easy - it would have been near impossible without the help of his friends and the rest of the staff. One such afternoon, you and Ino were discussing the times of the party and what kinds of food would be there.

“Well it’ll be mainly barbecue,” you explained. “But since it’s a party, there’ll be some extras. The girls have been really helpful, they all love Chouji as one of the family.”

Ino nodded and then waved to someone else further along the street. You turned to see who it was and your stomach lurched when you saw that it was actually Chouji himself. When he saw both you and Ino, he came straight over.

“We were just talking about you.” you said, grinning broadly. Chouji couldn’t possibly have understood that the grin was actually meant for Ino, but he returned it all the same and chuckled.

“Nothing bad, I hope,” he said.

“Of course not.”

~*~

The day of Chouji’s surprise party soon arrived. Your final attempt to make a cake resulted in a partially burnt Victoria sponge, which didn’t look all that bad once you cut off the charred bits. You delivered it to the restaurant first thing in the morning, then headed straight for the Akimichi residence. As usual, Mrs Akimichi let you in the front door and dragged you into a hug.

“_______! I was wondering when you were going to come over,” she said, leading you in the direction of the kitchen, where you presumed Chouji would be. “Chouji has been acting so odd these past few days…”

You froze at those words.

"Does he know about the you-know-what?” you asked, horrified at the thought of letting something slip. It didn’t make any sense for Chouji to be annoyed at having a party, but there again…he might have just wanted a quiet day to himself…

“I don’t think so,” was the reply, “I think he just misses you when you’re not around. I’ll go and fetch him…”

“You mean he isn’t in the-”

You stepped inside the kitchen, to find that just Mr Akimichi sat at the table, helping himself to slices of a giant cake that made yours look like a meagre attempt.

“Good morning ______!” he bellowed. “Sit down, sit down, have some cake.”

You nodded and sat down at the table, as Mr Akimichi doled you three large slices of cake onto a plate.

“Are the plans still okay for tonight?”

You took a spoonful of the cake and immediately regretted it. It was easily the best you had ever tasted - without a trace of burn; there was no way that your cake could hope to compare.

“As far as I’m aware, they are,” you replied. “I called by the restaurant this morning and everything was in order.”

Chouji walked through the kitchen door at that moment and you jumped out of your chair to hug him.

“Happy birthday!” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Thank you, ______,” was the reply, as he returned the hug. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here so early.”

This response took you by surprise. You were unable to remember telling him any different and, as far as you were aware, you had not arrived at the Akimichi house any earlier than on any other visit. If anything, you were a little later.

“Of course I’m here, silly,” was the only reply you could think of. “What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t come to visit you first thing on your birthday??”

He didn’t reply and Mrs Akimichi, who had begun doling out some slices of cake for Chouji, intervened.

“A very bad one,” she commented, slipping you an I-told-so look as he sat down at the table. “Why don’t you tell Chouji about your present, ______?”

“Yeah, um…I’m going to give you my present later…” you said, “when you get it, you’ll understand why. My work break at the restaurant is about four, I could meet you there…”

You had hoped for a huge smile at the prospect of a present from you, especially considering as soon as you said ‘later’, Mr Akimichi nudged his son with the subtlety of an anvil. The smile that you got, however, was so weak that it could have been mistaken for a grimace.

~*~

It was only as you stood outside the restaurant at five minutes to four that it occurred to you that you still didn’t know if Chouji was coming or not. He hadn’t really responded to the suggestion and it was only assumption that had led you to the spot. Preparations for the party were completely finished, leaving just the party itself to go ahead. As it happened, Chouji’s love for barbecue, the one thing in the world that you had never disputed, seemed to be the single detail that you had overestimated.

As you waited outside the restaurant, you wondered why he had been so different; to your recollection, you had done nothing different since his return from the mission.

You didn’t have much time to think, as you heard footsteps on the path opposite. Turning to see who they belonged to, you saw that it was Chouji and waved. He didn’t wave back, in fact, did not respond at all until he had reached you. His face was a picture of utmost misery - for reasons you couldn’t begin to understand.

“Cho-”

“I’ve decided,” he interrupted, “I don’t want your present.”

He took a deep breath and then began to walk away, exactly in the direction that he had originally come. For a moment you stood and watched him as the shock settled in. Of all the greetings you could possibly have expected that certainly wasn’t one of them. Shock evaporated, you chased after him.

“…What are you talking about?”

“I thought you were different,” he muttered, “than all of those girls that wouldn’t look at me twice. Who refused to see past what I looked like and didn’t even bother to find out what I was really like. I thought that you were special ______…. I thought….”

Your heart froze in your chest as you realised his eyes were wet with tears.

“I thought…” he carried on, “that even if you cared for me only half as much as I cared about you, I would be the happiest man on earth. But…to break up with me on my birthday…now I see that you don’t care about me at all.”

“WHAT?!?!?!?!?”

He stopped in his tracks and faced you, the tears streaming down his face.

“All the whispering - the things you don’t want me to know,” he said. “Does everyone except me know that you find me repulsive?”

For the second time in less than ten minutes, you were frozen to the spot in shock. You couldn’t think of anything to say to him - anything that sounded remotely sincere at least. And that’s when it occurred to you: back when it didn’t matter, you hadn’t been able to find the right words either. You had convinced yourself that in a moment where it did, you would find exactly the right ones. You had just realised that you were about to lose Chouji and still waiting on those words.

“You…you just don’t get it do you?”

Silence.

“I’m sure I never could find you repulsive Chouji,” you said. “I’ve waited for so long to explain to you, but now I think I get it. I should have just said it when I wanted to, rather than waiting for the opportunity or the words to write themselves.”

You had never seen Chouji quite so confused as at that moment then.

“What are you…”

“I missed you,” you said. “When you went away, it wasn’t the same.”

Taking a deep breath, you carried on.

“The whispering…you were right, there was something I didn’t want you to know,” you explained. “I didn’t want you to know that for your birthday present I was planning a party at the barbecue restaurant. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Considering the situation, you were calmer than you thought you would be. You had imagined quite a lot of stammering. Chouji was not crying anymore.

“I asked your friends for advice on things, like times and other people to invite,” you said. “I didn’t want to miss anyone out. The reason I did it…”

Here came the hard part.

“Well, it was because I love you, and I really think I should have said so before so none of this happened.”

It seemed like an age before he reacted. For so long his face was frozen into one of confusion, then, slowly one of complete shock. Watching him was unbearable - it was mere minutes since he had been convinced you found him repulsive. You weren’t sure anymore if he would believe what you told him.

“Please say something,” you said.

In the end he didn’t have to say anything. He took you into his arms and gripped you tightly.

“You love me,” you heard him say once, then twice and then again.

Grinning and taking his hand, you led him towards the restaurant.

"Come on,” you said. “I baked you a cake…I don’t think it’s anywhere near as good as your mother’s but…”

He chortled at these words.

“It will be the finest cake I have ever eaten,” he remarked.

You unlocked the restaurant door and switched on all of the lights, smiling inside at the thought of Chouji enjoying the cake you had made for him, knowing that it was made out of love. You barely noticed as the people hidden in the room jumped out shouting ‘SURPRISE’, or Chouji’s pretend look of absolute astonishment. It barely caught your senses when the meat hit the barbecue and a plate made its way into your grasp one way or another. Least of all you noticed Chouji watching you with the air of a child who had waited all his life for a train set just to open the box and find it better than expected.